Why having space in a relationship is necessary?

space in a relationship

Space in a relationship plays an important role in living a happy life together. These days, every partner aspires personal space and consider it an essential requirement to grow together as a couple. Likewise, giving some space to each other is also necessary to strengthen the relationship. 



  • It gives a sense of freedom.
  • It makes the relationship trustful as the partners don’t keep unnecessary checks on each other or control the individual choices.
  • Also it makes one realize that it is possible to be the same individual that he/she was before getting into the relationship.

What does the “Space in a relationship” mean?

In a relationship, when someone says that “I need space”, always has a hidden meaning or intention. The word “space” implies some time away from the partner to find “me” time. That is the time to just be yourself.

Sometimes, people complain to their partner that they have lost their identity after getting into a relationship. This happens when they get dependent on their partner for everything and don’t realize who they are without their partner. They don’t understand that even as a couple they are still two individuals and need to reconnect with the true self to grow as an individual as well. 

Therefore, to keep a relationship healthy and long-lasting, what a modern couple needs to do is, they should spend enough time with each other to show care and affection, but at the same time, they must allow each other the freedom to do anything related to their personal choices.

Let’s say: If a woman wants to take up dance classes or wants to join a job, a modern man needs to allow her to pursue that desire or dream, rather than being doubtful about her potentially meeting another guy outside or any other reason. He should become her support and encourage her to go beyond society’s restrictions.

Space in a love relationship is good or bad?

Though the best reminiscences are those that are shared with the lovely partner, but utmost togetherness can ruin the bonding between the two. It is necessary to spend some quality time with yourself to enhance your personality. However, your partner can misunderstand you when you ask for some ‘my’ time but this is not a selfish act. Spending some ‘my’ time can help you to learn new things, meeting up new people can boost your confidence, and you can work on your hobbies too. 

Whether it is a relationship before marriage or after marriage, there comes a time when you need space in a relationship. Maybe your relationship is a very strong one but that doesn’t mean you keep clinging to each other all the time. Excessive possessiveness and intruding habits can bring irritation and anxiety to both. The uttermost thing is trust, that allows a couple to build a strong bond.

According to a psychologist, Meredith Hansen: “Trust, commitment and vulnerability are the three things to strengthen the bond in a relationship”. Moreover, giving personal space to each other involves the trust factor which in turn helps in boosting individual and couple growth altogether.

How to ask for a space in a relationship?

All relationships are diverse in nature because every couple is different. Being together in a relationship, people share emotions, fears, insecurity, inspiration, and desires. So, asking for a personal space in every relationship is unique.

Because of the unique dynamics, the way of giving space to each other depends on the understanding level. Sometimes, it is misinterpreted that if a woman asks for the space in a relationship, she wants to get separated and end the relation, but has no courage to say it directly that, “it’s over, now”.

However, she may say something like, she needs some space to find herself again, or, she just needs a break time to think things over for a while and telling that she has no intention for break up. Moreover, she wants to do something that pleases her without any exaggerated interference. Therefore, it’s important to respect each other choices as well as differences to make bonds stronger.

How to deal with space in a relationship?

space in a relationship

If your lover, ask for a space, try to avoid questioning him or her about it. Let them rejuvenate their self-being. Introspection can create arguments and ego clashes which might bring bitter differences and harm your relationship.

Once you agree with the idea of giving each other space, learn to deal with it gracefully.


  • Not interrogating with too many questions of 5 Ws, like Where, Who else, With whom, When, and Why.
  • Encouraging your partner to go out with friends or enjoy some activity without you.
  • Not sneaking into personal stuff without permission like mobiles, emails, laptops, social media accounts, purse, etc.

Acceptance of the fact that you and your partner need space in a relationship is necessary. It is totally normal to dedicate some time and effort to other important things in life or to spend time with other family members or friends.

However, this doesn’t mean your partner is not enjoying their life with you or rejecting you. No need to make an ego issue, instead allow each other to stay away for some specified time period.

Consequently, it will let you know, how much you miss your partner in his/her absence? Missing each other for that short duration can nurture the bond and increase the love between the couple.

How much space in a relationship is normal?

‘Space limit’ depends on the level of togetherness which varies from couple to couple. Calculations can be done mutually about the amount of the together time and the alone time. Start off by deciding the number of days and the amount of time that each one is comfortable staying away.

However, some couples have a career as a priority and have to stay apart for weeks or months. So, they only get to stay together for a limited period of time. In that case, they should be emotionally secure and committed to each other to maintain the compatibility.

Although, it is difficult to answer how much space a couple needs in terms of days or weeks.

Essentially, the amount of space depends on the lifestyle of a couple and the mutual understanding. Like no space, too much space is also dangerous in a relationship. More than the required space gives the feeling of rudeness and ignorance. This might degrade the emotional attachment between the couples as they may feel unwanted or burden on each other.

Is giving space in a relationship after a fight a must?

Every partner plays a vital role in balancing a cordial relation. Even though, at times some disagreements cause fights between a couple. So instead of heating up the situation, get apart for a while. Have some time apart to think over the issue.

A little space can heal a relationship and help to boost the positive energy of the couples in crisis. Their bonding can go a much longer way after taking a silent interval.

Try to get clear about the right space dynamics and keep your relationship happy, harmonious, and passionate. What works for a couple today might not work after a few years. So, it is suggested to be ready to adapt the change together.

Now, if your perspective in life is to do all things together, over a period of time, that may change. So, it’s better to maintain peace in life and relationship from now onwards. Start giving equal importance to your individuality as given to the relationship.


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